Welcome to Australia – saying no since 1770.

So I was out this morning on a bit of a bike ride around the Capitol City Trial  (a very nice bike track by the way) and ran into a rather large group of runners doing the local marathon, 10K etc.  Not unusual and a bloody good effort by all taking part.  Besides all the sweaty runners and that look on their faces that said, “what was I bloody thinking”, I was struck by all the supporters.  I reckon there were more supporters than runners!  And they were enthusiastically banging cowbells and shouting tonnes of encouragement.  This reminded me of all the dairy farms I visited during my idyllic New Zealand childhood (cue Lord of the Rings music, cut to mountain scene with young Nigel looking over the Crown Ranges, his faithful pet kiwi on his shoulder…).  Oh sorry got away from me that. 

The obvious implication of the cowbells was that these runners were being herded and thus by extension were cows or sheep. And to what fate they were being led who knows?  However it also stuck me that American’s are such a positive people. Sitting in the rain (oh did I mention I was biking in the rain – Im so good) Americans are a really encouraging a positive people.  Another example - on the way to work each day I pass the free Entrepreneurs Clinic at the Wisconsin Institutes for Discovery (set up by Wisconsin alumni John Morgridge, ex CEO of Cisco).  This, if nothing else, is a great illustration of the American spirit –have go, go out and make your fortune.

And this makes me wonder why we Australians are such “no” sort of people?  The tall poppy syndrome rains supreme and we all suffer for it.  It instils in us the idea that we couldn’t possibility be world class, have a fundamentally brilliant idea, write a great novel, or invent a must-have product, must-see movie, or life-saving drug.  This is despite the fact that we have done, are doing, and will keep doing, it. 

Worse, it seems, if you actually dare to be a success.  Take poor Cate Blanchard, getting a gobful right now for daring to be rich  and yet having the gall to have an opinion about the carbon tax and say so on a TV ad.  By the way she is apparently worth $50m or so but I suspect these numbers come from a very dark place – you can find it by bending over, looking down, well you get the idea.  The (stupid) argument is that “well, she wont be affected she is rich”.  For god sake folks, we will all be affected by this, especially our children’s children. So she has made a few bucks, most likely due to her bloody hard work and sacrifice (and great bone structure of course).  Good on her and well done.  We will, of course, all deny we are taking her down but the tall poppy mantra lurks there underneath our so called national pride.  Oh lots of you wot agree I’m sure but hey its my blog – get your own if you want to pontificate.

So why are we a negative sort of people?  Well there are lots of ideas.  One is that if someone else has success then there will be less left for me.  Bit silly really – success is only limited by your desire to seek it.  There is no guaranteed you will have any despite your best efforts but I can assure you wont have any just sitting around waiting for it to find you. 

Me -  I reckon it’s just a reflection of our current state as a nation, still holding onto  the skirts of the empire and unable to really move on with pride. Now I’m of to find me some of the success (in the lab) and join the Australian Republican Movement.  

American TV Ads are a hoot.

 Seeing the occasional TV program here on sabbatical brought back a flood of memories from when I lived here before about something rather particular to American TV  - the advertising. So firstly the biggest advertisers are the drug companies.  It begs the question about the cost of drugs as their promotional budget makes their R&D costs look like small change.  Typically at primetime you will see an ad that will go something like this. 

“Susanib – a new treatment for (insert favourite disease).  Significantly better than Curealot and all other previous treatments, blah, blah..”.  So this part of the ad is like the bad angel sitting on your shoulder saying “you should definitely be taking this stuff man, its great.  All my friends take it etc”.  The second half of these ads are like the good angel appearing on your other shoulder and gives you the low down on the bad stuff.  ”Susanimb will kill you if you take it with drugs like Fakeaway or Dubiotensin. Tell you doctor if you are on Hypochondriacosin etc etc”. 

Imagine if all ads were forced to tell you about the bad stuff too.

Happy Meals for the kids – if you eat this a lot it will cause weight gain, diabetes, pimples, and heart attacks. Each burger removes 3 days from your life expectancy.

The Ford (any model) – if you combine this with being male, under 25 and alcohol you will vastly increase you chances of dying in a horrible crash.  It will not make you attractive to the opposite sex.

XXXX beer – will impair your ability to make rational decisions, ugly people will appear better looking, and you may think you can drive a car really well, but you cant. If taken in combination with lying on a road you will die. 

Come up with your own truth in ads if you want.   Of course with drugs this just means folks go and nag their doctor about giving them this new drug.  Thank goodness we don’t drug advertising in Australia and even better we have the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme.  New drugs only get listed after justifying a true medical benefit via clinical trials and, more importantly, an economic case.  That is, for the price and expect benefit to patients (less days in hospital, no surgery, less doctors visits etc ) it makes sense to add it. 

Now, the other type of ads. These are …well…. personal.  “Sometimes I don’t feel quite…fresh” says the young lady.  Or “This itchiness is making me uncomfortable” says the old bloke squirming on his chair.  Or  “Are you regular?”  Why Americans have a much higher rate of yeast infections, haemorrhoids or constipation is a mystery.  I suspect they don’t but we can always blame fast food. Never fear for there are lots of products that will solve these embarrassing and unsightly issues.  For a country that is aghast at showing a pair of breasts or backside its no problem telling you that that arse you aren’t allowed to see has haemorrhoids.

Now I have to go and develop a product to treat my discomfort at watching these ads.  I shall call it “Commercialoff” – it wipes out memories of products you don’t want to remember and will be a huge success.  And I will advertise it widely with really annoying ads and if you don’t like it, just take “Commercialoff”.  See I cant fail!

Too many PhDs? Not enough PhDs?

OK this one is for my science colleagues, friends and students.  An often-debated subject I have with colleagues is what is the right number of PhD we should be producing these days.  Our labs survive by gaining funding and we get funding via producing papers and students help produce papers.  How is this process connected to the job market for PhDs?  Well often not much. What are we training students for in terms of job prospects in an environment of constrained funding and increased competition from countries such as China and India?

Heavy stuff I know.  Of course our other favourite gripe is about medics, dentists and vets calling themselves Doctor while only having a couple of Bachelors degrees if that!  All this isn’t helped by our own Australian universities now offering professional masters degrees that will allow someone to call themselves Doctor too.  In fact I reckon we PhD holders need a new term to define our obvious “docterness” to the world.  Any suggestions? Professor is an obvious one.  The German “Doctor Doctor” (to strains of Robert Palmers “Bad case of Lovin you” in the background. Perhaps not.  Send me you suggestions to nigelmcmilan"at"me.com.

Anyway back to PhDs.  Nature had an issue on this last month (http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v472/n7343/index.html).  The US doesn’t produce enough and imports its talent and while China is producing vast numbers, the quality is variable.  Of course most countries are convinced that higher education and scientific research are the key to economic growth and prosperity and are expanding doctoral education in science. You would have to say Australia is not one of them at least on funding evidence and government policy, but our problem is more covering the gap between good ideas and a startup company.  VC capital is not an issue for a shopping mall but a new therapeutic – good luck.  Students from 2^nd and 3^rd world countries see it as a path to prosperity and a better life and many of them in my experience are truly excellent students.

Lets face it, no one goes into a PhD just for the hell of it.  These are bright, dedicated students with a desired to make a difference.  If it was money and fame they wanted they wouldnt be in science.  Name the last 3 winners of the Nobel Prize in Medicine right now!  No?  See, not even a  Nobel Prize offers fame!  No, I believe the issue is we train our PhDs too narrowly for the many jobs they end up in (only ½ end up in research labs).  What about management, marketing, project management, budgeting,  etc.  Fundamentally we need a different sort of degree, an PhD-MBA type degree. Then perhaps pure research training would become more limited and specialized.

Your thoughts?

Do you need a TV now? The streaming age is upon us.

Having no TV in my apartment while on sabbatical has been an educational and interesting experience.  As Karl Marx noted "Die Religion ... ist das Opium des Volkes"i.  No, that doesn’t mean driving a Volkswagon requires pray or imparts a drug-induced, hippe experience, but rather “Religion is the opiate of the masses”.  Our distraction is now TV which Calvin and Hobbes ponts out rather wickedly here http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1995/01/08

The thing is I actually watch as much TV here as I would at home.  Now Im not a big TV watcher anyway and lets face it there is so much drivel to watch but at least with so many channels everyone can choose their own drivel.  So how do I manage it?  Well everything is online and my free wireless internet lets me watch everything I desire. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Big Bang Theory, the nightly news and even the ABC news and Dr Who on ABCs excellent iView.  Sites here like Hulu and Netflix ($7.99/month for all the movies and TV you could possibility want) take care of all your viewing needs. Hell, you can even get movies via facebook. It’s on online watchfeast!

So do I ever need a TV again?  Yes, I would miss out on live sports, breaking CNN news (will anyone really miss that), and latest shows as they broadcast. There are ways - I actually watched NBA basketball from Australia on my own TV via Skype just the other day (thanks Chris).  But before long, everything will be online anyway.

The world is just so connected now.  Its happening and the networks are slowly getting it together. Its fantastic isn’t it.  No longer should you pay for 200 channels via cable or settle for free-to-air TV.  Surf and choose your own TV channel – Nigels Channel – completely customized with content that has only what I like to watch.  But are you prepared to do your own programming?  How will you discover the hot new comedy show?  Many folk are more than happy to sit back and ingest whatever the studios and network put in front of them – the opiate of the masses indeed.   

Those Crazy “Day Talkers”.

A funny thing happened the other day while I was out and about.  “How are you doing?” said the large man approaching me. “Fine” I cheerily replied ..as he walked right-on-by.  Besides feeling like a goose I realised he was one of those, you know who I mean, ….a “Day Talker”.   Day Talkers are those folk who merrily conduct loud conversations, seemly with themselves, but in fact are wired to the world and talking to some equally stupid looking Day Talker via the magic of the mobile phone. And I see them, they’re everywhere and some of them don’t even know how stupid they look. Maybe I’m old fashion but I just find it strange to walk down a street talking to yourself.  Mind you when I do lose my mind (yes its bound to happen soon) all I need to do is stick an earpiece in and I’m good to go. The men in white coats wont even look my way. “Just another pretentious tosser” they’ll mutter.  At least they don’t have those huge Mr Spock bluetooth earpieces now.  

I put it down to this weird condition we all suffer from – the almost pathological need to answer a ringing phone. We all rush around the house trying to find that handset that, of course, has never been put back (at least in my house).  And if we miss it how many dial *69 to see who it was?  And don’t get me started on folk who are talking to you and their mobile rings..and they answer it clearly indicating this unknown entity is more important than the person right in front of you.  Why is that? 

I say this is all weird because I don’t know where it came from. Where in our history were we suddenly conditioned to answer phones no matter what.  I think its because we think it’s the same as if someone said “How are you doing” on the street – we feel its rude not to answer, a social conditioning.  It actually upsets some folk when I’m talking to them and my office phone rings and I don’t pick it up.  To me that’s like someone interrupting your conversation – its rude.  So some face-to-face social conventions transfer across technologies.  Except those people who answer mobiles when talking to you…they’re just rude.  And why is it *69……

Why are Americans so fat?

So last weeks musings certainly raised a lot of discussion which was nice to see.  Lets stir the pot again shall we.

Ok, not to abuse my hosts (too much) or anything and yes I know that statistics say Australians are just as fat, but traveling this week I really noticed lots of really, really fat people. You know the ones, the superfat.  They are the ones you are deathly afraid will get the seat next to you on the plane. I’m convinced that the US have way more superfat people or else they just happened to be attracted to airports and looking at the food offered here, that might make sense.  Maybe its once slim passengers caught in endless delays and cancelled flights who become hulking monsters eating airport fast food and then can never leave as they no longer fit on a plane. 

So why are we all getting fatter?  Well it’s genetics and evolution stupid. Of course mentioning evolution here in the US Midwest is almost as bad as telling folks you had something to do with the cervical cancer vaccine.  Such folk are obviously deviants, promoters of promiscuity and debauchery, leading young folk to stray and will end civilisation.  Back to the matter at hand - you see our bodies amazingly efficient.  We want to survive so we put away all the goodies we consume for the coming “bad times”. No I don’t mean the Broncos didn’t win the grand final bad times, but more the apocalypse, end of days bad times like when Dr Who gets cancelled or the like.   Of course since we domesticated livestock and developed large-scale agriculture some 10000 years ago there haven’t been too many bad times, although perhaps the Irish in 1845 (look it up kids) or a few African countries in the 80s, 90s… hell all the time, might disagree.  Certainly no bad times here in “fat city, Arizona”.  Naturally some of us are more efficient at storing food, these are the ones we use to call “survivors” but are now obese.  They are blessed with a metabolism that is super efficient while those skinny catwalk models will be the first to perish come the famine (hurrah I hear the group of middle age women up the back).  Of course Miranda Kerr survives no matter what, that’s just my rule ok.

“So its just my genes then, its not my fault” I hear the masses cry.  Well yes is bloody well is your fault because knowing that you are really good at storing food (look in the mirror) means you need to understand that “energy in” should equal “energy out”.  Understanding that some folk have a “gland issue” means understanding their metabolism.  Yes some have rare genetic diseases that are not going to be controlled in any way by diet.  Of course getting to my age you notice some middle age spread and wonder what happened to that body you use to have 20 years ago!

So what to do??  Well if you are the large food corporations, nothing.  Its going great and we are slowly getting to the point were people wont even need a kitchen or remember how to cook a decent meal.  Healthcare?  Private health see this as good business and as long as the economy is going great the more heart disease the better.  Don’t rock the boat too much.  Governments see this as a big problem but seeing them wring their hands over regulating fast food or its advertising is reminiscent of tobacco in the 70s.  We will look back and wonder what the hell we were thinking.

What about us, what can we do? Well you all watch the Biggest Loser, read the magazines, started and stopped endless diets, worked your butts of in high cardio, fat burning sessions at the gym.  Exercise more and eat less, simple right. But that part seems to be harder. We are fighting against our very nature.  You see the other part about our evolution and makeup is we don’t tend to expend energy unless we have too.  We save it for the time we really need it - run from the lion/wolf pack, fight for survival. And once again, our genes, aided and abetted by our culture, aren’t helping.  Eating is a social occasion (dinner with the family, going out with friends etc).  We have only been eating cereals, sugars and grains for 10000 years, which in terms of genetics is nothing. These carbs are great sources of energy, easy to digest and plentiful.  However we can’t genetically deal with it – coeliac disease seem to be in about 10% of our population now, type II diabetes (the one your get from eating too much sugars) is reaching epidemic proportions.  Of course our natural “caveman” diet was just meat, fruit, nuts and vegetables.  And yes, there is such as thing as the “caveman diet”.

Worse is that these carbs and sugars are now everywhere, in every supermarket product, processed into all our food and drinks as high fructose corn syrup or refined sugar.  This makes our choices hard.  Pasta, sauces, breads, cakes, biscuits, rice, potatoes, and drinks all have it.  Basically everything in between the first and last isles at Coles is this.  Every fast food meal is this.  MacDonalds put that extra sugar in the bread to keep you coming back.   But what about these zero calorie diet drinks surely they are a healthy option Well interestingly is not - aspartate (in Coke Zero and others) blocks serotonin in your brain and makes you...hungry.  And these crazy diets like the grapefruit or cabbage one that lets you eat as much as you like (thus not really teaching to limit intake and who can only eat one thing anyway).  An interesting trend is the size of dinner plates which have almost doubled over the last 30 years making our portions bigger now. 

So for me, I just think it’s a slow and steady approach – healthy choices, limit portion size, get some exercise for the bones and heart.  Ill never have my 20 year old body back and the only six pack I want is one containing beer, but then again I don’t want to be the guy having to buy 2 plane seats either!