There is nothing more dangerous than a cunning fool.

Do you read the great demotivational posters at dispair.com.  It’s a great website selling little pearls of wisdoms and mocking all those motivational posters you see around.  You know the ones ”Goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement.”  Or “You can soar like an eagle” to which the demotivators poster says “Eagles are like leaders – we don’t have any here either”.  My favorite is

“MISTAKES: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others”

With it is a picture of a sinking ship (http://www.despair.com/mis24x30prin.html).   And this was what I thought when I saw this headline

“British man Sean Murphy shoots off own finger with shotgun to remove wart”

Can you believe this headline!  I know, where are the commas???  Commas are the cornerstone of civilization and understanding – the difference between a man-eating shark or a man eating shark.  But I digress.  All in all Sean used a novel method to remove his wart and to be fair he certainly did remove it!  That and his middle finger.  OK, we have all been there haven’t we?.  A few beers and hey suddenly this seems like a great idea.  But no, in the cold light of day, after his court appearance on firearms charges, he said, "The best thing is that the wart has gone, it was giving me lot of trouble."

OK so my point here is that there is nothing more dangerous than a cunning fool, a variation on the “nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talent fool”.  And I would like to suggest to you that we all should be thankful for such people and here’s why.

While these fools might occasionally take some poor unfortunate victim with them more often than not they take themselves out - out of the gene pool. Usually you will find a record of their enterprising demise at the Darwin Awards website (http://www.darwinawards.com/).   By removing themselves they are making the rest of the world a safer place for the rest of us.

That is unless you know one, or worse are one…….

Link to the news story. 

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2011/06/16/2011-06-16_british_man_shoots_off_own_finger_with_shotgun_to_remove_wart.html

The Geeks shall inherit the Earth.

 So says the bible. OK, it might have referred to some shifting looking crowd known as the “meek” but you know spell checkers these days, especially if you read this blog!  God probably wrote geek but the celestial spell checker mucked it up. So now that’s straight the reason for todays topic was a few weeks back it was International Geek Pride Day.  In celebration Modis surveyed 1000 Americans about geeks (link at bottom).  Apparently 2 out of 3 people aged 18 to 34 considered being called a geek a compliment, and 82 per cent of all people thought it was more acceptable to be a geek today than it was 15 years ago.  And nearly twice as many prefer to be called a “geek” (41 percent) instead of a “jock” (22 percent).

Jocks, who peak sometime before high school graduation end up paying for their sporting prowess with arthritis or worse.  Don’t tell me Lance’s man berry cancer wasn’t from all those “vitamins” to didn’t take.   And all those concussions aren’t going to help you win “MIllionare”.  Of course some of this change in attitude has been helped by any number of billionaire geeks like Bill “Micro$oft” Gates or Steve “Reality Distortion Field” Jobs. 

So be nice to geeks people – you’ll be working for them one day.  And no, geeks are not driven to succeed because of the rigor and stress of survival at high school.  

I leave you with this – no matter what, don’t go through life wearing a red shirt.  If you don’t get it your not in the geek club yet

http://www.modis.com/about/press-room/article/?art=20110523_1&type=pr

The Minister for Stupidity

As you know we here at the Mad Musing bureau try and keep a level head and offer a calm and discerning perspective of the world.  This is so you, the little people, can take in the searing insight and mind-blowing changes to your worldview that this blog may bring. 

However, today’s topic is politicians and we feel the calmness leaving us, leaching out holes left in our brain by the utter absurdity of what these people say. Listening to politicians is of course a practised art as these folk speak a strange language.  Words are said but there is no meaning and little sense can be made of it.  You see they have invented an oratory that is simply breathtaking in its ability to say nothing, convey no meaning nor offer any clue as to a viewpoint or opinion.

"and then I had this brilliant idea...."

What has brought us to this point of indignation?  It is the Honourable Stephen Robertson, Queensland’s Minister for Energy.  Having failed spectacularly at being Minister of Roads and Health it was hoped Energy would be a safe place for him. Not much happens there really.  Its using the well known principle "If people don't know what you're doing, they don't know what you're doing wrong."


Well those in Queensland will be well aware that last week the Minister approved a 6%  price increase in power.  And the reason….wait for it….was because consumers hadn’t used enough power over the summer!  Truly jaw-dropping logic and right out of the “Yes Minister” playbook.  You young folk should really watch this truly insightful BBC satire from the 80s. According to the minister power companies needed to reclaim the cost of last years infrastructure costs.  And thoughtless consumers had had the gall to not use enough of the sparky stuff. 

OK, so lets think about this. What did the minster think last years 13% increase was actually for?  Yes, you guessed it. They said it was for infrastructure. Where did that money go one might ask? Looks like double dipping to me. Umm he also conveniently forgot to mention the huge government campaign this summer to turn off our air conditioners as we had thoughtlessly gone out and purchased a swag of them thinking how nice it would be to be cool this summer.  Apparently this was going to ruin our power system, the sky was falling, etc.  Maybe we should claim the government gave all of us bad advice and should ask to be reimbursed!

This is truly a piece of stupendous idiocy but sadly no surprise from this minister or government.  This is the same government that privatised water and told us to use 120L a day during the drought only to put up the price of water vastly. Even if you use none-at-all. We really are mugs. 

The trouble with government today is there are many people with the power to stop things happening but nobody with the power to make things happen. Government has the engine of a lawn mower but the brakes of a 747.  (paraphrased from Yes Minister).  It is true here too with the current US federal government budget negotiations.   I think living in Madison has me all up in arms.  I blame Governor Walker of Wisconsin.  Why not, every else does!

Ill leave you with another Yes Minister piece of advice.   "The first rule of politics: never believe anything until it's been officially denied."


Welcome to Australia – saying no since 1770.

So I was out this morning on a bit of a bike ride around the Capitol City Trial  (a very nice bike track by the way) and ran into a rather large group of runners doing the local marathon, 10K etc.  Not unusual and a bloody good effort by all taking part.  Besides all the sweaty runners and that look on their faces that said, “what was I bloody thinking”, I was struck by all the supporters.  I reckon there were more supporters than runners!  And they were enthusiastically banging cowbells and shouting tonnes of encouragement.  This reminded me of all the dairy farms I visited during my idyllic New Zealand childhood (cue Lord of the Rings music, cut to mountain scene with young Nigel looking over the Crown Ranges, his faithful pet kiwi on his shoulder…).  Oh sorry got away from me that. 

The obvious implication of the cowbells was that these runners were being herded and thus by extension were cows or sheep. And to what fate they were being led who knows?  However it also stuck me that American’s are such a positive people. Sitting in the rain (oh did I mention I was biking in the rain – Im so good) Americans are a really encouraging a positive people.  Another example - on the way to work each day I pass the free Entrepreneurs Clinic at the Wisconsin Institutes for Discovery (set up by Wisconsin alumni John Morgridge, ex CEO of Cisco).  This, if nothing else, is a great illustration of the American spirit –have go, go out and make your fortune.

And this makes me wonder why we Australians are such “no” sort of people?  The tall poppy syndrome rains supreme and we all suffer for it.  It instils in us the idea that we couldn’t possibility be world class, have a fundamentally brilliant idea, write a great novel, or invent a must-have product, must-see movie, or life-saving drug.  This is despite the fact that we have done, are doing, and will keep doing, it. 

Worse, it seems, if you actually dare to be a success.  Take poor Cate Blanchard, getting a gobful right now for daring to be rich  and yet having the gall to have an opinion about the carbon tax and say so on a TV ad.  By the way she is apparently worth $50m or so but I suspect these numbers come from a very dark place – you can find it by bending over, looking down, well you get the idea.  The (stupid) argument is that “well, she wont be affected she is rich”.  For god sake folks, we will all be affected by this, especially our children’s children. So she has made a few bucks, most likely due to her bloody hard work and sacrifice (and great bone structure of course).  Good on her and well done.  We will, of course, all deny we are taking her down but the tall poppy mantra lurks there underneath our so called national pride.  Oh lots of you wot agree I’m sure but hey its my blog – get your own if you want to pontificate.

So why are we a negative sort of people?  Well there are lots of ideas.  One is that if someone else has success then there will be less left for me.  Bit silly really – success is only limited by your desire to seek it.  There is no guaranteed you will have any despite your best efforts but I can assure you wont have any just sitting around waiting for it to find you. 

Me -  I reckon it’s just a reflection of our current state as a nation, still holding onto  the skirts of the empire and unable to really move on with pride. Now I’m of to find me some of the success (in the lab) and join the Australian Republican Movement.  

American TV Ads are a hoot.

 Seeing the occasional TV program here on sabbatical brought back a flood of memories from when I lived here before about something rather particular to American TV  - the advertising. So firstly the biggest advertisers are the drug companies.  It begs the question about the cost of drugs as their promotional budget makes their R&D costs look like small change.  Typically at primetime you will see an ad that will go something like this. 

“Susanib – a new treatment for (insert favourite disease).  Significantly better than Curealot and all other previous treatments, blah, blah..”.  So this part of the ad is like the bad angel sitting on your shoulder saying “you should definitely be taking this stuff man, its great.  All my friends take it etc”.  The second half of these ads are like the good angel appearing on your other shoulder and gives you the low down on the bad stuff.  ”Susanimb will kill you if you take it with drugs like Fakeaway or Dubiotensin. Tell you doctor if you are on Hypochondriacosin etc etc”. 

Imagine if all ads were forced to tell you about the bad stuff too.

Happy Meals for the kids – if you eat this a lot it will cause weight gain, diabetes, pimples, and heart attacks. Each burger removes 3 days from your life expectancy.

The Ford (any model) – if you combine this with being male, under 25 and alcohol you will vastly increase you chances of dying in a horrible crash.  It will not make you attractive to the opposite sex.

XXXX beer – will impair your ability to make rational decisions, ugly people will appear better looking, and you may think you can drive a car really well, but you cant. If taken in combination with lying on a road you will die. 

Come up with your own truth in ads if you want.   Of course with drugs this just means folks go and nag their doctor about giving them this new drug.  Thank goodness we don’t drug advertising in Australia and even better we have the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme.  New drugs only get listed after justifying a true medical benefit via clinical trials and, more importantly, an economic case.  That is, for the price and expect benefit to patients (less days in hospital, no surgery, less doctors visits etc ) it makes sense to add it. 

Now, the other type of ads. These are …well…. personal.  “Sometimes I don’t feel quite…fresh” says the young lady.  Or “This itchiness is making me uncomfortable” says the old bloke squirming on his chair.  Or  “Are you regular?”  Why Americans have a much higher rate of yeast infections, haemorrhoids or constipation is a mystery.  I suspect they don’t but we can always blame fast food. Never fear for there are lots of products that will solve these embarrassing and unsightly issues.  For a country that is aghast at showing a pair of breasts or backside its no problem telling you that that arse you aren’t allowed to see has haemorrhoids.

Now I have to go and develop a product to treat my discomfort at watching these ads.  I shall call it “Commercialoff” – it wipes out memories of products you don’t want to remember and will be a huge success.  And I will advertise it widely with really annoying ads and if you don’t like it, just take “Commercialoff”.  See I cant fail!

Too many PhDs? Not enough PhDs?

OK this one is for my science colleagues, friends and students.  An often-debated subject I have with colleagues is what is the right number of PhD we should be producing these days.  Our labs survive by gaining funding and we get funding via producing papers and students help produce papers.  How is this process connected to the job market for PhDs?  Well often not much. What are we training students for in terms of job prospects in an environment of constrained funding and increased competition from countries such as China and India?

Heavy stuff I know.  Of course our other favourite gripe is about medics, dentists and vets calling themselves Doctor while only having a couple of Bachelors degrees if that!  All this isn’t helped by our own Australian universities now offering professional masters degrees that will allow someone to call themselves Doctor too.  In fact I reckon we PhD holders need a new term to define our obvious “docterness” to the world.  Any suggestions? Professor is an obvious one.  The German “Doctor Doctor” (to strains of Robert Palmers “Bad case of Lovin you” in the background. Perhaps not.  Send me you suggestions to nigelmcmilan"at"me.com.

Anyway back to PhDs.  Nature had an issue on this last month (http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v472/n7343/index.html).  The US doesn’t produce enough and imports its talent and while China is producing vast numbers, the quality is variable.  Of course most countries are convinced that higher education and scientific research are the key to economic growth and prosperity and are expanding doctoral education in science. You would have to say Australia is not one of them at least on funding evidence and government policy, but our problem is more covering the gap between good ideas and a startup company.  VC capital is not an issue for a shopping mall but a new therapeutic – good luck.  Students from 2^nd and 3^rd world countries see it as a path to prosperity and a better life and many of them in my experience are truly excellent students.

Lets face it, no one goes into a PhD just for the hell of it.  These are bright, dedicated students with a desired to make a difference.  If it was money and fame they wanted they wouldnt be in science.  Name the last 3 winners of the Nobel Prize in Medicine right now!  No?  See, not even a  Nobel Prize offers fame!  No, I believe the issue is we train our PhDs too narrowly for the many jobs they end up in (only ½ end up in research labs).  What about management, marketing, project management, budgeting,  etc.  Fundamentally we need a different sort of degree, an PhD-MBA type degree. Then perhaps pure research training would become more limited and specialized.

Your thoughts?

Do you need a TV now? The streaming age is upon us.

Having no TV in my apartment while on sabbatical has been an educational and interesting experience.  As Karl Marx noted "Die Religion ... ist das Opium des Volkes"i.  No, that doesn’t mean driving a Volkswagon requires pray or imparts a drug-induced, hippe experience, but rather “Religion is the opiate of the masses”.  Our distraction is now TV which Calvin and Hobbes ponts out rather wickedly here http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1995/01/08

The thing is I actually watch as much TV here as I would at home.  Now Im not a big TV watcher anyway and lets face it there is so much drivel to watch but at least with so many channels everyone can choose their own drivel.  So how do I manage it?  Well everything is online and my free wireless internet lets me watch everything I desire. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Big Bang Theory, the nightly news and even the ABC news and Dr Who on ABCs excellent iView.  Sites here like Hulu and Netflix ($7.99/month for all the movies and TV you could possibility want) take care of all your viewing needs. Hell, you can even get movies via facebook. It’s on online watchfeast!

So do I ever need a TV again?  Yes, I would miss out on live sports, breaking CNN news (will anyone really miss that), and latest shows as they broadcast. There are ways - I actually watched NBA basketball from Australia on my own TV via Skype just the other day (thanks Chris).  But before long, everything will be online anyway.

The world is just so connected now.  Its happening and the networks are slowly getting it together. Its fantastic isn’t it.  No longer should you pay for 200 channels via cable or settle for free-to-air TV.  Surf and choose your own TV channel – Nigels Channel – completely customized with content that has only what I like to watch.  But are you prepared to do your own programming?  How will you discover the hot new comedy show?  Many folk are more than happy to sit back and ingest whatever the studios and network put in front of them – the opiate of the masses indeed.